


Oh no, that's MY idiot.

by ambercreek95



Category: South Park
Genre: But it's okay because his boyfriend loves him anyway, Kenny is an idiot, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:28:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29042376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambercreek95/pseuds/ambercreek95
Summary: This is literally so short that I don't know how to summarise it without just putting the entire story hahahahaBasically, Kenny's a dumbass, but he's Tweek's dumbass so it's okay.
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 12
Kudos: 32





	Oh no, that's MY idiot.

**Author's Note:**

> Developed from the Prompt:  
> Person A see someone doing something idiotic: "Oh god, what an idiot"  
> Person A realises that it's Person B: "Oh no, that's MY idiot"

_What the hell is that person doing?_ Tweek thinks to himself.

He watches as a shadowy figure chases _something_ around in circles in the dark alleyway behind Tweek Bros.

Tweek stands there impatiently in the back doorway, trash bag in hand, waiting for the show to stop so that he can chuck out the garbage in peace.

He watches as the figure seems to finally corner whatever terrorised animal they are trying to catch behind the piles of cardboard boxes and empty beer bottles. The person lunges forward to pounce on the creature, only for their foot to fly out from underneath them on a candy bar wrapper, resulting in the person landing flat on their face in the dirty alley. 

"Jesus Christ, what an idiot" Tweek mutters to himself under his breath. 

It seems as though the idiotic creature - _is that a possum?_ \- takes pity on it's equally idiotic adversary. It draws closer, sniffing at the seemingly-unconscious persons head, letting it's guard down. In a flash, the figures hand shoots up and latches what looks like a collar around the possum's neck. The creature, realising far too late what a mistake it has made, tries to scamper away, but the collar is attached to a chain held firmly in person's hand. 

The figure, finally lifting their face off the filthy alley floor, pushes themselves up slowly onto their hand and knees, and then their feet. The possum begins running circles around their opponents legs, tangling the chain around their ankles. the figure wobbles, but is able to stabilise themselves before they can land vertically again.

The person turns their face towards the light of the street lamp, and Tweek is able to get a decent look at the victor of tonight's possum face-off. They lock eyes with Tweek, wide lop-sided, gap-tooth grin spreading across their freckled face. 

"Oh no..." Tweek gasps quietly, "that's MY idiot." 

"Hey babe!" Kenny yelled merrily.

"Kenny, what in the HELL are you doing?" Tweek says, dropping the trash in the doorway to prevent the door from locking shut behind him, and rushing over to his completely bat shit, halfwit boyfriend. 

"I've come to walk you home after work?" Kenny states confusedly, like he has no idea what else Tweek could be alluding to.

"No, Kenny. I mean what the hell are you doing lying face down in this piss soaked alley chasing a _god damn POSSUM?!_ " Tweek hisses

Kenny looks down as the possum who is painstakingly trying to gnaw at the chain. "Oh, that's what you meant..."

"Obviously!" Tweek shrieks. 

"Well, I thought I could kill two birds with one stone and take Mr Possy for a walk while I dropped you home."

"And Mr Possy is...?" Tweek says confusedly, pointing at the possum who has given up on chewing it's chain and is now looking forlornly at the bag of trash that Tweek has abandoned. Tweek wonders momentarily if he can smell the stale pastries inside. 

"They're my new pet," Kenny exclaim proudly.

"...Right." Tweek drawls out. Never a dull moment with Kenneth McCormick. Tweek looks up at his boyfriends face and sees a large lumpy bruise slowly forming on Kenny's forehead. "Shit, are you alright? You've got a nasty bump on your head." Tweek brings his hand up to push the hair away form the bump and get a closer look, but then remembers that those same strands of hair are coated in god knows what from the alleyway floor, quickly withdrawing his hand in fear.

"I've never been better now that I've seen your beautiful face," Kenny says flirtatiously, punctuating the remark with a deviant wink.

"Shut up, you moron," Tweek laughs, embarrassed blush spreading across his pale cheeks. 

Kenny leans in, hoping to steal a kiss, but is swiftly met with a palm in front of Tweek's face and a "hell no, there's no way you're kissing me until you've had a shower!"

"But Sugar," Kenny whines, "I came all the way here for you! Don't you think I deserve a kiss?"

Tweek rolls his eyes. "Yeah, but that was before you ended up lying face down in filth while trying to catch a possum."

Kenny pouts as Tweek turns on his heel and strides towards the back entrance of Tweek Bros. He picks it up, and lobs it underarm towards the open dumpster, managing to get it in. "Come inside, clean yourself up while I finish closing, and then _maybe_ I'll _think_ about kissing you."

Kenny grins like a man who's won the lottery. He drags the possum with him as he heads towards the back door, trailing behind his boyfriend. "Hear that Mr Possy? I'mma get a kiss."

"Nuh uh, Kenny, that thing stays outside!" Tweek says firmly, blocking Kenny's entrance. 

Kenny gasps dramatically hand splayed over his heart. "How _dare you_ call our son a _thing?!_ " 

Tweek cocks an eyebrow, and Kenny's soap opera worthy act is dropped, lazy grin sliding into place again easily. "Nah, you know I'm just playing honey. I wouldn't even _dream_ about it." Kenny loops the chain around a post, preventing any further escape attempt from Mr Possy, before strolling inside behind Tweek.

"He's not our son, by the way," Tweek protests as they cut through the storeroom and out into the café area.

"Of course not," Kenny scoffs.

"Good." Tweek says placated.

"Mr Possy's a girl. She's our daughter."


End file.
